you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
