It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
