I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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