Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
