I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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