I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
