it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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