it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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