I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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