i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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