I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
