yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
