Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize