I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
