i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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