Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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