loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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