dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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