erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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