And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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