when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
