my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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