Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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