Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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