I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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