He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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