It's Friday. Sex?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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