glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
