I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
