exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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