I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
