just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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