check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
