she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
