If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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