Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There r osticjed everywhere
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
