ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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