Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
