He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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