id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
