I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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