Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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