If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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