I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
