I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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