Your mouth is God's brothel.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Iβm home.
Iβm aware. I just dropped you off.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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