I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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