Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
