Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
