i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
