maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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