Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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