Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
