we made out on top of his cat.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
