i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
last night I used snow as a chaser
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