so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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