Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
