Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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