how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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