He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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