Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
